Water and sweets? In MY trains?

After going in the Facebook group “I disagree with SMRT’s actions of disallowing plain water and sweets on MRT” and reading what others have to say about the ban, I understand how they feel. The usual questions of ‘what if I’m thirsty’ or ‘what if I need to take meds’ fall on deaf ears (or blind eyes, rather?), but nobody is trying to look through SMRT’s perspective.

A lot of companies, government-run or not, imply rules based on the worst case scenario. The rules do not usually need to be written in blood, because in most circumstances, it would be too costly to find out what would happen if there weren’t the said rules in the first place. The rule of thumb when making rules and regulations is to regard the common consumer/public as complete idiots. The lowest common denominator. Don’t be offended, this is just how they think. How often do you find big companies not enforcing rules so you can ‘sort it out amongst yourselves’? The answer: almost never.

What is the worst case scenario of candy consumption in the train? Littering, right? Candy wrappers on the floor, illegal chewing gum under the seats, etc. What would be the solution to solve this problem, if not for the restriction and fine? To keep up with Singapore’s squeaky clean image, I’d say that the solution is to deploy train interior cleaners. Same as the cleaners you find at the stations, just that they’re stationed to be in the train the whole time. So the cleaners would be in the train according to their shifts, and they just walk to one end of the train to the other carrying their cleaning gear (broom, dustpan, cleaning rags, squeegee and Windex). I am not a sadist. I know that the cleaners are usually senior citizens, so a trolley (with a little side seat so they can sit to rest) to keep their cleaning gear in would be in order.

And the drawback to having these cleaners? Less room for people to stand during peak hours. Even if the cleaners do not go on their rounds when it’s crowded, they would still need to be somewhere in the train. So less commuters in the trains when they need to be. And they’ll be frustrated because the cleaner is a human being, meaning that they can just ask them to move. But they can only move around in the train. This idea just won’t do!

The worst case scenario of allowing water to drink? This one is easy. SMRT doesn’t want a mini Songkran (Thai water festival) happening in the trains. And the ‘logical’ question of “what if the water gets into the circuit boards” is answered. There will be so much water thrown about, you can’t blame the engineer who designed the train interior to protect the circuits from outside harm. It’s really not his fault! Because our moronic brains cannot do the equation of mouth and water bottle. Something MUST happen in between, and that something in spillage.

You can almost imagine the discussion in any meeting about the impositions of similar laws:

Q: “Why should we have (insert law here)?”

A: “Can you imagine? Some idiot might (insert action here)!”

So there you have it, the reasons why there is a ridiculous restriction of water and sweets in the train. Because we still have people in society (not necessarily children, but they can learn) who aren’t so….. society friendly. You know what I mean. The same people who spit on the streets, squat on the toilet seat, flick their boogers, sneeze and cough without closing their mouths, and the list could go on. And the fine? Well that’s going to be the government’s pocket money for God-knows-what, but rest assured it’s supposed to be for the good of all of us.

These are the two trains of thought: Should you be offended by the restrictions? Or should you be offended by the people who think you can’t clean up after yourself? Because laws and rules exist to be bent and broken, it’s just a matter of whether or not you’re caught by the people who gives a damn.