The Emancipation of my Brain

Water and sweets? In MY trains?

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:24:00 +0800

After going in the Facebook group “I disagree with SMRT’s actions of disallowing plain water and sweets on MRT” and reading what others have to say about the ban, I understand how they feel. The usual questions of ‘what if I’m thirsty’ or ‘what if I need to take meds’ fall on deaf ears (or blind eyes, rather?), but nobody is trying to look through SMRT’s perspective.

A lot of companies, government-run or not, imply rules based on the worst case scenario. The rules do not usually need to be written in blood, because in most circumstances, it would be too costly to find out what would happen if there weren’t the said rules in the first place. The rule of thumb when making rules and regulations is to regard the common consumer/public as complete idiots. The lowest common denominator. Don’t be offended, this is just how they think. How often do you find big companies not enforcing rules so you can ‘sort it out amongst yourselves’? The answer: almost never.

What is the worst case scenario of candy consumption in the train? Littering, right? Candy wrappers on the floor, ~~illegal~~ chewing gum under the seats, etc. What would be the solution to solve this problem, if not for the restriction and fine? To keep up with Singapore’s squeaky clean image, I’d say that the solution is to deploy train interior cleaners. Same as the cleaners you find at the stations, just that they’re stationed to be in the train the whole time. So the cleaners would be in the train according to their shifts, and they just walk to one end of the train to the other carrying their cleaning gear (broom, dustpan, cleaning rags, squeegee and Windex). I am not a sadist. I know that the cleaners are usually senior citizens, so a trolley (with a little side seat so they can sit to rest) to keep their cleaning gear in would be in order.

And the drawback to having these cleaners? Less room for people to stand during peak hours. Even if the cleaners do not go on their rounds when it’s crowded, they would still need to be somewhere in the train. So less commuters in the trains when they need to be. And they’ll be frustrated because the cleaner is a human being, meaning that they can just ask them to move. But they can only move around in the train. This idea just won’t do!

The worst case scenario of allowing water to drink? This one is easy. SMRT doesn’t want a mini Songkran (Thai water festival) happening in the trains. And the ‘logical’ question of “what if the water gets into the circuit boards” is answered. There will be so much water thrown about, you can’t blame the engineer who designed the train interior to protect the circuits from outside harm. It’s really not his fault! Because our moronic brains cannot do the equation of mouth and water bottle. Something MUST happen in between, and that something in spillage.

You can almost imagine the discussion in any meeting about the impositions of similar laws:

Q: “Why should we have (insert law here)?”

A: “Can you imagine? Some idiot might (insert action here)!”

So there you have it, the reasons why there is a ridiculous restriction of water and sweets in the train. Because we still have people in society (not necessarily children, but they can learn) who aren’t so….. society friendly. You know what I mean. The same people who spit on the streets, squat on the toilet seat, flick their boogers, sneeze and cough without closing their mouths, and the list could go on. And the fine? Well that’s going to be the government’s pocket money for God-knows-what, but rest assured it’s supposed to be for the good of all of us.

These are the two trains of thought: Should you be offended by the restrictions? Or should you be offended by the people who think you can’t clean up after yourself? Because laws and rules exist to be bent and broken, it’s just a matter of whether or not you’re caught by the people who gives a damn.

"Oh, I’m way behind him; as well as Costner, Spacey, Kline, Bacon…"

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:41:00 +0800

“Oh, I’m way behind him; as well as Costner, Spacey, Kline, Bacon…”

- A reply from Kevin Smith, from a message of somebody who asked “hows it feel 2 be the 2nd most famous Kevin behind Jonas?”. Seriously?

Jail, or something like it

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:56:00 +0800

Criminals go to jail. Jail life is tough. You supposedly harden up when you go behind bars because of the restrictions of freedom you do nothing but a lot of physical work. In turn, you become more physically and mentally tough.

So is jail really the place for that? A tougher body is supposed to be a perk, not a punishment. Offender’s get to improve on what they’re already capable of doing. So is jail really ‘jail’, or a fitness camp in disguise? Caning aside, of course.

This is my idea of jail life; you get fed, with a high calorie diet. And you don’t have anything to do. No gardening, no ‘sandbag’ treatment, just nothing at all. The excess food along with all the inactivity takes a toll on the body. In the end, the body becomes fatter and slower.

The goal is to not just give the offender some ‘holiday weight’, but to make him/her obese. Think of the things that they can’t do: run fast, swim far, climb high. And they won’t be fat tough; total inactivity, remember?

So why give convicts something so beneficial to them like a fit body? I say let them indulge in 2 of the deadly sins; laziness and gluttony. It’ll work out for everybody.

Let me leave you with setting the scene so you can get a better idea; the prison cookhouse, with all the convicts as big as the Klumps just trying to get by finishing what they’re given to eat. That is jail to me.

My niece.

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:36:36 +0800

My niece.

"Heyyyy ewan here… I’m doing a short film kinda thing for my frnd’s bday pressie...."

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:33:47 +0800

“Heyyyy ewan here… I’m doing a short film kinda thing for my frnd’s bday pressie. Its a short re-enactment of her relationship with my frnd. All u have to do is to touch guys and oogle at guys”

- This has got to be my weirdest sms to date. And probably the weirdest circumstance to develop a relationship.

Irma frequents wedding photography sites, and sometimes she...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:43:19 +0800

Irma frequents wedding photography sites, and sometimes she gives me the links of some really nice shoots. We both like the ones that are really out of the ordinary, and it’s rare to find a local shoot that’s not taken entirely at the Singapore river/Fullerton/Airport/Fort Canning/Botanic Gardens/Sentosa.

You can look at the rest of their shoot here. Link opens in a new window.

"…and that’ll be… er, zero."

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 10:13:17 +0800

“…and that’ll be… er, zero.”

- McDonalds cashier, after claiming a free McGriddle

Analyzing an “upset stomach”.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:26:17 +0800

Analyzing an “upset stomach”.

"7-11. 7/24."

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:36:39 +0800

“7-11. 7/24.”

- My Television and Radio Production lecturer, who probably wanted to say 24/7.

Did a DJ workshop for first year kids at Siglap Sec today, and...

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 16:36:12 +0800

Did a DJ workshop for first year kids at Siglap Sec today, and man these kids are so restless.

But it’s nice to know that I’m not as rusty as I thought I am. Wish I could get a set for myself but oh well, money doesn’t grow on trees.

Me doing a song with T-Pain. What a night!

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:30:21 +0800

Me doing a song with T-Pain. What a night!

"The game needs change and I’m the muhhhfuckin’ cashier."

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:59:34 +0800

“The game needs change and I’m the muhhhfuckin’ cashier.”

- Drake

Or something like that

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:37:00 +0800

I’m pulling all morning shifts for my work schedule this week. 8am to 4pm. Maybe I’ll bring a shirt and tie and wear them after I knock off from waiting tables so I can pretend that I have a real job. Ooo burn! High fi-… oh, wait.

Naughty naughty, your majesty

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 22:23:00 +0800

At the airport, sending a German friend of Irma’s family off.

He just told us a story that he has connections to a vineyard, and he once got a call from the Sultan of Brunei requesting for alcohol-free beer for a party. After everything was done, his majesty pulled out cause he found out that you can never have 100% alcohol-free beer.

What I wanna know is, why does the Sultan of Brunei wanna play with fire? This is kinda like asking for penetration-free sex. I read that they teach it in some schools in the US, sort of like a damage-control abstinence plan. So in comparison to the Sultan cutting off the deal, I guess what turned him off of it was that at some point somebody’s gonna run his hoo-ha in between his thighs.

We never plan ahead, but a lot of times we end up wearing...

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 12:11:59 +0800

We never plan ahead, but a lot of times we end up wearing similar clothes.

Nevertheless I still like this picture.

#oneletteroffmovies

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:15:20 +0800

There’s a Twitter trend, #oneletteroffmovies, where you change, add or omit one letter from a movie title.

‘Boondock Taints’ was the funniest I’ve seen.

My best submission? ‘Poonwalker’. You’re welcome.

Peter Andre, minus the reggae man.

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:19:02 +0800

Peter Andre, minus the reggae man.

AudioBlog : The purpose of the AudioBlog.

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:45:42 +0800

AudioBlog : The purpose of the AudioBlog.

Switching up

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:43:36 +0800

Hmmm, the Tumblr app in my iPhone will record audio for audio posts. Didn’t really look into that before. Maybe I’ll try that.

Videos shmideos

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 11:33:56 +0800

Videos shmideos:

I’ve made some videos recently, some of the kids and some I did acoustic covers of songs I used to listen to.